GULLIVER’S
TRAVELS
PART 13
CHAPTER V.
Several adventurers that
happened to the author. The execution of a criminal. The author
shows his skill in navigation.
I should
have lived happy enough in that country, if my littleness had not exposed me to
several ridiculous and troublesome accidents; some of which I shall venture to
relate. Glumdalclitch often carried me into the gardens of the court in
my smaller box, and would sometimes take me out of it, and hold me in her hand,
or set me down to walk. I remember, before the dwarf left the queen, he
followed us one day into those gardens, and my nurse having set me down, he and
I being close together, near some dwarf apple trees, I must needs show my wit,
by a silly allusion between him and the trees, which happens to hold in their
language as it does in ours. Whereupon, the malicious rogue, watching his
opportunity, when I was walking under one of them, shook it directly over my
head, by which a dozen apples, each of them near as large as a Bristol barrel,
came tumbling about my ears; one of them hit me on the back as I chanced to
stoop, and knocked me down flat on my face; but I received no other hurt, and
the dwarf was pardoned at my desire, because I had given the provocation.
Another
day, Glumdalclitch left me on a smooth grass-plot to divert myself, while she
walked at some distance with her governess. In the meantime, there
suddenly fell such a violent shower of hail, that I was immediately by the
force of it, struck to the ground: and when I was down, the hailstones gave me
such cruel bangs all over the body, as if I had been pelted with tennis-balls;
however, I made a shift to creep on all fours, and shelter myself, by lying
flat on my face, on the lee-side of a border of lemon-thyme, but so bruised
from head to foot, that I could not go abroad in ten days. Neither is
this at all to be wondered at, because nature, in that country, observing the
same proportion through all her operations, a hailstone is near eighteen
hundred times as large as one in Europe; which I can assert upon experience,
having been so curious as to weigh and measure them.
But a more
dangerous accident happened to me in the same garden, when my little nurse,
believing she had put me in a secure place (which I often entreated her to do,
that I might enjoy my own thoughts,) and having left my box at home, to avoid
the trouble of carrying it, went to another part of the garden with her governess
and some ladies of her acquaintance. While she was absent, and out of
hearing, a small white spaniel that belonged to one of the chief gardeners,
having got by accident into the garden, happened to range near the place where
I lay: the dog, following the scent, came directly up, and taking me in his
mouth, ran straight to his master wagging his tail, and set me gently on the
ground. By good fortune he had been so well taught, that I was carried
between his teeth without the least hurt, or even tearing my clothes. But
the poor gardener, who knew me well, and had a great kindness for me, was in a
terrible fright: he gently took me up in both his hands, and asked me how I
did? but I was so amazed and out of breath, that I could not speak a word.
In a few minutes I came to myself, and he carried me safe to my little nurse,
who, by this time, had returned to the place where she left me, and was in
cruel agonies when I did not appear, nor answer when she called. She
severely reprimanded the gardener on account of his dog. But the thing
was hushed up, and never known at court, for the girl was afraid of the queen’s
anger; and truly, as to myself, I thought it would not be for my reputation,
that such a story should go about.
This
accident absolutely determined Glumdalclitch never to trust me abroad for the
future out of her sight. I had been long afraid of this resolution, and
therefore concealed from her some little unlucky adventures, that happened in
those times when I was left by myself. Once a kite, hovering over the
garden, made a stoop at me, and if I had not resolutely drawn my hanger, and
run under a thick espalier, he would have certainly carried me away in his
talons. Another time, walking to the top of a fresh mole-hill, I fell to
my neck in the hole, through which that animal had cast up the earth, and
coined some lie, not worth remembering, to excuse myself for spoiling my
clothes. I likewise broke my right shin against the shell of a snail,
which I happened to stumble over, as I was walking alone and thinking on poor
England.
I cannot
tell whether I were more pleased or mortified to observe, in those solitary
walks, that the smaller birds did not appear to be at all afraid of me, but
would hop about within a yard’s distance, looking for worms and other food,
with as much indifference and security as if no creature at all were near
them. I remember, a thrush had the confidence to snatch out of my hand,
with his bill, a of cake that Glumdalclitch had just given me for my breakfast.
When I attempted to catch any of these birds, they would boldly turn against
me, endeavouring to peck my fingers, which I durst not venture within their
reach; and then they would hop back unconcerned, to hunt for worms or snails,
as they did before. But one day, I took a thick cudgel, and threw it with
all my strength so luckily, at a linnet, that I knocked him down, and seizing
him by the neck with both my hands, ran with him in triumph to my nurse.
However, the bird, who had only been stunned, recovering himself gave me so
many boxes with his wings, on both sides of my head and body, though I held him
at arm’s-length, and was out of the reach of his claws, that I was twenty times
thinking to let him go. But I was soon relieved by one of our servants,
who wrung off the bird’s neck, and I had him next day for dinner, by the
queen’s command. This linnet, as near as I can remember, seemed to be
somewhat larger than an English swan.
The maids
of honour often invited Glumdalclitch to their apartments, and desired she
would bring me along with her, on purpose to have the pleasure of seeing and
touching me. They would often strip me naked from top to toe, and lay me
at full length in their bosoms; wherewith I was much disgusted because, to say
the truth, a very offensive smell came from their skins; which I do not
mention, or intend, to the disadvantage of those excellent ladies, for whom I
have all manner of respect; but I conceive that my sense was more acute in
proportion to my littleness, and that those illustrious persons were no more
disagreeable to their lovers, or to each other, than people of the same quality
are with us in England. And, after all, I found their natural smell was
much more supportable, than when they used perfumes, under which I immediately
swooned away. I cannot forget, that an intimate friend of mine in
Lilliput, took the freedom in a warm day, when I had used a good deal of
exercise, to complain of a strong smell about me, although I am as little
faulty that way, as most of my sex: but I suppose his faculty of smelling was
as nice with regard to me, as mine was to that of this people. Upon this
point, I cannot forbear doing justice to the queen my mistress, and
Glumdalclitch my nurse, whose persons were as sweet as those of any lady in England.
That which
gave me most uneasiness among these maids of honour (when my nurse carried me
to visit then) was, to see them use me without any manner of ceremony, like a
creature who had no sort of consequence: for they would strip themselves to the
skin, and put on their smocks in my presence, while I was placed on their
toilet, directly before their naked bodies, which I am sure to me was very far
from being a tempting sight, or from giving me any other emotions than those of
horror and disgust: their skins appeared so coarse and uneven, so variously
coloured, when I saw them near, with a mole here and there as broad as a
trencher, and hairs hanging from it thicker than packthreads, to say nothing
farther concerning the rest of their persons. Neither did they at all
scruple, while I was by, to discharge what they had drank, to the quantity of
at least two hogsheads, in a vessel that held above three tuns. The
handsomest among these maids of honour, a pleasant, frolicsome girl of sixteen,
would sometimes set me astride upon one of her nipples, with many other tricks,
wherein the reader will excuse me for not being over particular. But I
was so much displeased, that I entreated Glumdalclitch to contrive some excuse
for not seeing that young lady any more.
One day, a
young gentleman, who was nephew to my nurse’s governess, came and pressed them
both to see an execution. It was of a man, who had murdered one of that
gentleman’s intimate acquaintance. Glumdalclitch was prevailed on to be
of the company, very much against her inclination, for she was naturally
tender-hearted: and, as for myself, although I abhorred such kind of
spectacles, yet my curiosity tempted me to see something that I thought must be
extraordinary. The malefactor was fixed in a chair upon a scaffold
erected for that purpose, and his head cut off at one blow, with a sword of
about forty feet long. The veins and arteries spouted up such a
prodigious quantity of blood, and so high in the air, that the great jet
d’eau at Versailles was not equal to it for the time it lasted: and the
head, when it fell on the scaffold floor, gave such a bounce as made me start,
although I was at least half an English mile distant.
The queen,
who often used to hear me talk of my sea-voyages, and took all occasions to
divert me when I was melancholy, asked me whether I understood how to handle a
sail or an oar, and whether a little exercise of rowing might not be convenient
for my health? I answered, that I understood both very well: for although
my proper employment had been to be surgeon or doctor to the ship, yet often,
upon a pinch, I was forced to work like a common mariner. But I could not
see how this could be done in their country, where the smallest wherry was
equal to a first-rate man of war among us; and such a boat as I could manage
would never live in any of their rivers. Her majesty said, if I would
contrive a boat, her own joiner should make it, and she would provide a place
for me to sail in. The fellow was an ingenious workman, and by my instructions,
in ten days, finished a pleasure-boat with all its tackling, able conveniently
to hold eight Europeans. When it was finished, the queen was so
delighted, that she ran with it in her lap to the king, who ordered it to be
put into a cistern full of water, with me in it, by way of trial, where I could
not manage my two sculls, or little oars, for want of room. But the queen
had before contrived another project. She ordered the joiner to make a
wooden trough of three hundred feet long, fifty broad, and eight deep; which,
being well pitched, to prevent leaking, was placed on the floor, along the
wall, in an outer room of the palace. It had a cock near the bottom to
let out the water, when it began to grow stale; and two servants could easily
fill it in half an hour. Here I often used to row for my own diversion,
as well as that of the queen and her ladies, who thought themselves well
entertained with my skill and agility. Sometimes I would put up my sail,
and then my business was only to steer, while the ladies gave me a gale with
their fans; and, when they were weary, some of their pages would blow my sail
forward with their breath, while I showed my art by steering starboard or
larboard as I pleased. When I had done, Glumdalclitch always carried back
my boat into her closet, and hung it on a nail to dry.
In this
exercise I once met an accident, which had like to have cost me my life; for,
one of the pages having put my boat into the trough, the governess who attended
Glumdalclitch very officiously lifted me up, to place me in the boat: but I
happened to slip through her fingers, and should infallibly have fallen down
forty feet upon the floor, if, by the luckiest chance in the world, I had not
been stopped by a corking-pin that stuck in the good gentlewoman’s stomacher;
the head of the pin passing between my shirt and the waistband of my breeches,
and thus I was held by the middle in the air, till Glumdalclitch ran to my
relief.
Another
time, one of the servants, whose office it was to fill my trough every third
day with fresh water, was so careless as to let a huge frog (not perceiving it)
slip out of his pail. The frog lay concealed till I was put into my boat,
but then, seeing a resting-place, climbed up, and made it lean so much on one
side, that I was forced to balance it with all my weight on the other, to
prevent overturning. When the frog was got in, it hopped at once half the
length of the boat, and then over my head, backward and forward, daubing my
face and clothes with its odious slime. The largeness of its features
made it appear the most deformed animal that can be conceived. However, I
desired Glumdalclitch to let me deal with it alone. I banged it a good
while with one of my sculls, and at last forced it to leap out of the boat.
But the
greatest danger I ever underwent in that kingdom, was from a monkey, who
belonged to one of the clerks of the kitchen. Glumdalclitch had locked me
up in her closet, while she went somewhere upon business, or a visit. The
weather being very warm, the closet-window was left open, as well as the
windows and the door of my bigger box, in which I usually lived, because of its
largeness and conveniency. As I sat quietly meditating at my table, I
heard something bounce in at the closet-window, and skip about from one side to
the other: whereat, although I was much alarmed, yet I ventured to look out,
but not stirring from my seat; and then I saw this frolicsome animal frisking
and leaping up and down, till at last he came to my box, which he seemed to
view with great pleasure and curiosity, peeping in at the door and every
window. I retreated to the farther corner of my room; or box; but the
monkey looking in at every side, put me in such a fright, that I wanted
presence of mind to conceal myself under the bed, as I might easily have
done. After some time spent in peeping, grinning, and chattering, he at
last espied me; and reaching one of his paws in at the door, as a cat does when
she plays with a mouse, although I often shifted place to avoid him, he at
length seized the lappet of my coat (which being made of that country silk, was
very thick and strong), and dragged me out. He took me up in his right
fore-foot and held me as a nurse does a child she is going to suckle, just as I
have seen the same sort of creature do with a kitten in Europe; and when I
offered to struggle he squeezed me so hard, that I thought it more prudent to
submit. I have good reason to believe, that he took me for a young one of
his own species, by his often stroking my face very gently with his other
paw. In these diversions he was interrupted by a noise at the closet
door, as if somebody were opening it: whereupon he suddenly leaped up to the
window at which he had come in, and thence upon the leads and gutters, walking
upon three legs, and holding me in the fourth, till he clambered up to a roof
that was next to ours. I heard Glumdalclitch give a shriek at the moment
he was carrying me out. The poor girl was almost distracted: that quarter
of the palace was all in an uproar; the servants ran for ladders; the monkey
was seen by hundreds in the court, sitting upon the ridge of a building,
holding me like a baby in one of his forepaws, and feeding me with the other,
by cramming into my mouth some victuals he had squeezed out of the bag on one
side of his chaps, and patting me when I would not eat; whereat many of the
rabble below could not forbear laughing; neither do I think they justly ought
to be blamed, for, without question, the sight was ridiculous enough to every
body but myself. Some of the people threw up stones, hoping to drive the
monkey down; but this was strictly forbidden, or else, very probably, my brains
had been dashed out.
The
ladders were now applied, and mounted by several men; which the monkey
observing, and finding himself almost encompassed, not being able to make speed
enough with his three legs, let me drop on a ridge tile, and made his escape.
Here I sat for some time, five hundred yards from the ground, expecting every
moment to be blown down by the wind, or to fall by my own giddiness, and come
tumbling over and over from the ridge to the eaves; but an honest lad, one of
my nurse’s footmen, climbed up, and putting me into his breeches pocket,
brought me down safe.
I was
almost choked with the filthy stuff the monkey had crammed down my throat: but
my dear little nurse picked it out of my mouth with a small needle, and then I
fell a-vomiting, which gave me great relief. Yet I was so weak and
bruised in the sides with the squeezes given me by this odious animal, that I
was forced to keep my bed a fortnight. The king, queen, and all the
court, sent every day to inquire after my health; and her majesty made me
several visits during my sickness. The monkey was killed, and an order
made, that no such animal should be kept about the palace.
When I
attended the king after my recovery, to return him thanks for his favours, he
was pleased to rally me a good deal upon this adventure. He asked me,
“what my thoughts and speculations were, while I lay in the monkey’s paw; how I
liked the victuals he gave me; his manner of feeding; and whether the fresh air
on the roof had sharpened my stomach.” He desired to know, “what I would
have done upon such an occasion in my own country.” I told his majesty,
“that in Europe we had no monkeys, except such as were brought for curiosity
from other places, and so small, that I could deal with a dozen of them together,
if they presumed to attack me. And as for that monstrous animal with whom
I was so lately engaged (it was indeed as large as an elephant), if my fears
had suffered me to think so far as to make use of my hanger,” (looking
fiercely, and clapping my hand on the hilt, as I spoke) “when he poked his paw
into my chamber, perhaps I should have given him such a wound, as would have
made him glad to withdraw it with more haste than he put it in.” This I
delivered in a firm tone, like a person who was jealous lest his courage should
be called in question. However, my speech produced nothing else beside a
laud laughter, which all the respect due to his majesty from those about him
could not make them contain. This made me reflect, how vain an attempt it
is for a man to endeavour to do himself honour among those who are out of all
degree of equality or comparison with him. And yet I have seen the moral
of my own behaviour very frequent in England since my return; where a little
contemptible varlet, without the least title to birth, person, wit, or common
sense, shall presume to look with importance, and put himself upon a foot with
the greatest persons of the kingdom.
I was
every day furnishing the court with some ridiculous story: and Glumdalclitch,
although she loved me to excess, yet was arch enough to inform the queen,
whenever I committed any folly that she thought would be diverting to her
majesty. The girl, who had been out of order, was carried by her
governess to take the air about an hour’s distance, or thirty miles from
town. They alighted out of the coach near a small foot-path in a field,
and Glumdalclitch setting down my travelling box, I went out of it to
walk. There was a cow-dung in the path, and I must need try my activity
by attempting to leap over it. I took a run, but unfortunately jumped
short, and found myself just in the middle up to my knees. I waded
through with some difficulty, and one of the footmen wiped me as clean as he
could with his handkerchief, for I was filthily bemired; and my nurse confined
me to my box, till we returned home; where the queen was soon informed of what
had passed, and the footmen spread it about the court: so that all the mirth
for some days was at my expense.
To be continued
